Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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