Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
