I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
