i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
