Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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