I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
