the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize