I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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