my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
