You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
