well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
