just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
