He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
