Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
