Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
