nut hugger
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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