Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize