I'm so fucking centered right now
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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