You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
