i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you win again, gameday.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
