You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
