Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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