Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
