am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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