she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
