Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
