i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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