I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
