Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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