5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
