i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
