Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
