There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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