its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
