it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize