god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I wish my penis had an off switch
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
