you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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