Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
