yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
