it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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