i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
