There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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