I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We were destined to go to rehab together
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
