i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My feet surprised me
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