i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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