Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize