Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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