I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
