I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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