i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
