the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
