Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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