my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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