I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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