...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
