i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize