dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
