I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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