What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
