can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
