I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize